Rebirth of thatsofarah. Two weeks ago I deleted my meaningful blog, a site that houses all simple notes, ramblings, rants, and grunts that I have gone through in an attempt to make sense of what is happening to the world. I did that to save my sinking relationship.
It is obvious now that my relationship is beyond reparation. My trust has been betrayed. My love amounts to uselessness. As I filially waited for him here in Malaysia, he is dating someone else. Family disapproval is another factor which I believe play only a minor role in a heart wrenching drama of my life.
I am two months shy away from completing my chambering and I have received all the papers necessary into getting admitted as an Australian lawyer. Amazing how life may turn against our good self in just a blink of an eye. I don’t know how to put it, it is as though I am the cause of all trouble. Heck, no. That was what he tried to make me think.
If you know of the way he treated me, you might see that he was trying to do all he could so as to make me leave him. This fine gentleman, only if he is, tried to make it look good on his part. The same modus operandi, he used for his previous girlfriend. I sensed that. I was in the middle of losing hope when I traced what he tried to do. But l was blinded by love. Though I loved him dearly, I was determined to wait for him to terminate the relationship, if the worse was to happen. He tried hard, but I held on tight. Until he finally got the ball to say it even though for the wrong reasons.
Did Ne-yo’s relationship advice on Hitz Fm kick some sense into anyone’s mind? “You should treat women with respect like how you want your mother and sisters to be treated.” Cheating is the most deadly terminator in relationship. Sigh. Cheating relates to honesty. Honesty relates to trust. Trust relates to love.
He has stopped appreciating me since October 2009 when he was first head over hells in love with the girl. I took up the blame for almost everything put to me by his family. Little did we know behind his “acts of love”, he was double timing me. I wonder if he ever knows of the life principle of what comes around goes around. I find it ridiculous to have been disapproved by his family because of where my family originated, I am after all a Malay and a Muslim, like them all.
I now learn to accept that it’s him. He has fallen out of love with me. He cheats on me. If I were reminded by what he had done to me, I am sure he doesn’t deserve a minute of attention and care from me nor does he deserve the greatest love I have to offer.
Your lost, then!
Any Neyo like Malaysian up for the current vacancy? Nah, I am just kidding. I need time to recover. Perhaps, one or two years.