In life, there are several things that we are incapable to understand. Why people do what they do? I have always asked myself this; why people scold each other with abusive yet vulgar words when they are chained by the so called ‘intangible love’.
On numerous occasions, I overheard my housemate put up a fierce row over her boyfriend while throwing words I would only use to scold road users in KL. Too bad, I had my hand on experience on this particular matter too. At first, it started of with only ‘shit’, ’fucked off’ and ,’bangsat’. As we progressed, the abusive words were more tensed; ‘lancau’, ‘gampang’, and ‘apehal, nak cari pasal’. Those were words I only hear on television when youngsters are to engage into gang fight before I experienced it myself.
I have never ever slipped off a cursing word to my loved ones. What are the satisfactions that can be driven by cursing the people you claim you love? I don’t get the point. Maybe in my case, he never loved me at all to begin with. I was lucky enough he never laid down his hand on my body. My next question is do you think this type of people will change in terms of attitude? Skeptical, I am. This is again a question of character. Just as much as smokers allege that it is hard to break the smoking habit, it is my innocent opinion that cursing habit is just as hard to break. It may lead to assault, that’s for sure.
Oprah Winfrey in her speech in 1997 had given a good advice how we, women should deal with men. I have been reading the whole speech over and over again to keep myself strong. Oh, I don’t mind giving you a copy if you request. The excerpts are as follows:
Remember this because this will happen many times in your life:
When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Not the 29th time! That is particularly good when it comes to men situations because when he doesn’t call back the first time, when you are mistreated the first time, when you see someone who shows you a lack of integrity or dishonesty the first time, know that that will be followed by many, many, many other times that will at some point in life come back to haunt or hurt you. When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time. Live your life from truth and you will survive everything, everything, I believe even death. You will survive everything if you can live your life from the point of view of truth. That took me a while to get, pretending to be something I wasn’t, wanting to be somebody I couldn’t, but understanding deep inside myself when I was willing to listen, that my own truth and only my own truth could set me free.
Turn your wounds into wisdom. You will be wounded many times in your life. You’ll make mistakes. Some people will call them failures but I have learned that failure is really God’s way of saying, “Excuse me, you’re moving in the wrong direction.” It’s just an experience, just an experience.
What she said rings true to me. Just the set of advice I need right now. Some are the repetition of advices given by caring friends.
If you think you have answers to my questions, feel free to throw some lights.