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Last week I asked an attachment student to transcribe an audio CD of the hearing I conducted July last year. To be honest, thinking that it was an easy-peasy job for even a school kid to do, I put a high hope on the attachment student who is now on a break from his law school. He submitted his work the day after and with so much hesitation I opened the attachment file to browse through his work.

The whole court process is in Malay so it must be transcribed in Malay. The first thing I noticed was DECAMDEN. For goodness’ sake, since when a Defendant is called Decamden? I shot an email right away asking him to make amendments and check his piece of art before sending it back to me. Later that evening, he apologized and sent me the updated version.

All was well before I had the ‘updated version’ before me.

ENCIK ARIF!!! SAYA DIARAHKAN OLEH PEGUAMCARA YANG MENGENDALIKAN KES INI, TUK WAN LUM TALIB…. I am pretty sure no one ever addressed the judge as such. I wanted to shout and scold him for the most fundamental mistakes, he’s lucky I don’t have much time to confront him about the quality of work he is giving me.

SETENDANG kan dulu. He actually means stand down!

LALU KE DATUK DENGAN PUAN? Opocot! Soalan yang sangat mencurigakan dan tak berkenaan langsung dengan tanah.
He misheard Plaintiff as TINTI or BINTI and it was all jumbled up in the 21-page-long transcript.

As a consequence, I brought the CD home to do the transcript myself. The sound of the audio CD was of a good quality, I can’t fathom why he misheard common terms used in court.

I am now caught in awkwardness seeing myself arguing in court; it is like watching your own Boston Legal series. I was caught agitating, staring at my opponent as though he was a piece of meat, lost for words and ended up resorting to English here and there and caught with questions I wished I had asked my client earlier on and yada yada. Well yes, I did all funny somersault stunts in court while maintaining the best decorum I was expected to show. Playing Boston Legal is not as easy as sitting in front the tv munching junk food. It comes together with ego-crusher. On that particular day, I still remembered having to deal with that post ego-crushing moment while driving home for seven hours; it was an outstation matter.

Off watching Jiulompo Legal starring yours truly.